Children can develop good behaviour with active and consistent guidance from their guardians or parents. This means that children need the attention of their parents or guardian when they behave well, and not just scolding when they misbehave.

 

Parenting can sometimes be a hassle and parents are afraid to get it wrong with their kids. If you are determined to help your children develop good behaviour, then the following tips will be helpful.

Tips for good behaviour

1. Lead by example

Children learn by example. Your child watches you get clues on how to behave and what you do is often much more important than what you say. For example, if you want your child to say ‘please’, say it yourself. If you don’t want your child to raise their voice, speak quietly and gently.

2. Express your feelings to your kids

Let your kids know how their behaviour whether good or bad directly affect you. Starting your sentences with ‘I’,  gives your child the chance to see things from your perspective. For example, ‘I’m feeling upset because there’s so much noise and I can’t talk on the phone.” That way, that child will stop making the noise because he or she does not want to upset you.

3. Appreciate them when they do good 

Positive feedback is very important in helping your child develop good behaviour. When your child is behaving in a way you like, give your child some positive feedback. For example, ‘Wow, you’re playing so nicely. I really like the way you’re keeping all the blocks on the table’. This works better than waiting for the blocks to come crashing to the floor before you notice and say, ‘Hey, stop that.

Try to make five positive comments for every negative comment.

4 Bond with your child

When you get close to your child, you can tune in to what they might be feeling or thinking. Being close also helps your child focus on what you’re saying about their behaviour.

5. Be an active listener

To listen actively, you can nod as your child talks, and repeat back what you think your child is feeling. When you do this, it can help young children cope with tension and big emotions like frustration, which sometimes lead to unwanted behaviour and tantrums. It also makes them feel respected and comforted.

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6. Stand by your word

When you follow through on your promises, good or bad, your child learns to trust and respect you. Your child learns that you won’t let them down when you’ve promised something nice, and your child also learns not to try to change your mind when you’ve explained a consequence.

7. Create an environment for good behaviour

The environment around your child can influence their behaviour, so you can shape the environment to help your child behave well. This can be as simple as making sure there’s plenty of safe, educative things for your child to play with. Also, make sure that your child can’t reach things they could break or that might hurt them.

8. Choose your battles

Before you get involved in anything your child is doing especially to say ‘no’ or ‘stop’ ask yourself if it really matters. By keeping instructions, requests and negative feedback to a minimum, you create fewer opportunities for conflict and bad feelings. You can use family rules to let everyone know what’s really important in your family.

9. Be firm when they throw tantrums

If you give in when your child is whining or throwing tantrums for something, you can accidentally train your child to whine more. ‘No’ means ‘no’, not ‘maybe’, so don’t say it unless you mean it.

10. Keep things simple and positive

Instructions should be clear, short and appropriate for your child’s age, so your child can understand and remember them. Also, positive rules are usually better than negative ones because they guide your child’s behaviour in a positive way. For example, ‘Please shut the gate’ is better than ‘Don’t leave the gate open’.

 

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