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A Long Distance Relationship Is Tough, Here’s How To Make Yours Work

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Getting into a long distance relationship may not be the wisest decision. This doesn’t imply that it’s a bad one either because some have made it work somehow. Still, it’s not easy keeping up with one when you’re a thousand miles away. However, what makes it actually work is beyond the physical benefits of having the person there, but it relies more on communication and trust.

 

Here’s a story of two love-birds who had to keep up a long distance relationship.

 

Harry and Janet were childhood sweethearts (the typical Nollywood love story). They spent every time they had with each other and even got their parents to send them to the same secondary school. The pair became the envy of most people — including their single Yoruba teacher. Why she was jealous of them is still a puzzle, but that’s a story for another article.

 

Sure, they got flogged every now and then for how many times they were quick to defend the other. If Janet was accused of something, Harry knew her too well to know she wasn’t guilty. Then the principal would be more than ready to whip several strokes on her, but Harry would jump right in front and take the stokes on her behalf (the typical Hollywood love story).

 

The pair had big dreams for their future: to become married and live happily ever after.

 

Fast forward to years later, the pair somehow ended up in different universities. Harry was going to study at the University of Texas, while Janet was sent to the University of Lagos. That’s when the long distance began to keep them apart.

 

School took most of their time, and that became their sole focus. Janet did try to keep up, but the time difference wasn’t working in her favour. Harry was hell-bent on making his parents and Janet proud by doing well in school so he didn’t want any distraction. He did love Janet and tried to keep up but Janet started losing her trust in him and became suspicious.

 

She began posting suggestive pictures of herself and other guys on social media to spite him. It was childish, but she wanted to make him jealous enough to give her more attention. Harry wasn’t having it! He decided to spite her back and then cheated. You can guess how this love story ends.

 

How to make a long distance relationship work

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When your relationship is based on groundless fantasies, it is destined to fail. You need to establish why you’re together in the first place and what the big picture is. You and your partner can be together, but they may still feel far away. In the same way, you can be far away and still feel close. What matters is what your relationship is based on.

 

These are the top two ways you can make your relationship work.

 

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1. Communication

There’s nothing like communication to get two lovers in the same room even if they are continents apart. Ensure you keep up with your partner often. Little things like ‘good morning’ and ‘good night’ every day is one way of letting them know you’re there. You should also share your encounters with them like they never left. Try and bridge the gap by talking it out. There’s a whole lot that emojis and texts can’t do that your voice can, so call too.

 

Still, you should also ensure you don’t abuse communication. It can become more of a burden and less about loving them. When you call every hour and want to talk forever, it’s cute but not cool in the long run. Get all the communication tools in play here: talk to them, listen, read their messages and write yours as well. A relationship is a learning phase, and no one said schooling ends at school. So get ready to be schooled in your relationship.

 

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In communicating, add these to your list.

Find activities you can do together like online games, films you can watch together, or common places you can visit separately but at the same time.

 

You can also keep track of each other’s activities so you know the best time to call. Thank goodness we’re in the age of technology, so video calls can be your tool.

 

2. Trust

There’s no point in being in a relationship if there’s no trust. A long distance relationship would be even worse. It’s like the moment you say goodbye with a suspicious frown, you’re saying goodbye to that relationship as well. There’s no love lost between the both of you if you can’t find trust. If you don’t trust your partner then you should probably work on that before reading on.

 

Even if they are away for a long time, you need to know that, no matter what, that person loves you and would never hurt you. Since trust works both ways, you should also be honest with your partner. Even when you feel that a spark for someone else, you should let them know.

 

A little extra tip…

 

3. Send surprise gifts

Everyone loves gifts even though not everyone likes surprises. Still, a gift from you or your partner is like a piece of sunshine on a gloomy day. You can mail gifts or send care packs from wherever they are.

 

Enjoy your relationship and ensure it is built on trust and communication.

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