Any emotional manipulator you may have in your life shouldn’t be there if you can’t beat them at their own game. The result of succumbing to one could have you at their mercy and feeling emotionally bruised.

 

Emotional manipulators (EM) are champions at exploiting their prey deviously. They use any means to have their own way even if it’s at your own expense. An emotional manipulator will employ indirect, deceptive and sneaky tactics to change your perception or behaviour. They could also give in to telling little white lies to be the right party.

 

Their tactics are usually subtle because they have mastered the art of using words and actions to have their way.

 

Although most emotional manipulators tend to feel guilty and regretful, the compulsion to have their way overrules everything else. This could eventually ruin any trust or intimacy in a relationship.

 

If you find yourself in a situation where you’re doing things you rarely do, then you may just be getting emotionally manipulated. This may not be bad if it’s for a good cause. However, if you’re the receptor of negative emotions all the time, then it may be time for you to identify and retract. For emotionally mature people, they may offer an apology and work on the characteristics. However, for the immature ones, it may be a long journey through emotional abuse for the receptor.

 

 

In any relationship, when passive-aggressive tactics are adopted it could cause pain.

 

This is true but sometimes, when people manipulate others, they do this to avoid being the brunt of the pain or to cope with anger. Irrespective of the catalyst of the manipulative decision, it is more advisable to rather avoid it completely. The result is detrimental to the receptor. Rather than play the game of manipulation, you should just do what’s right from the onset.

 

If you still can’t deter whether you’re being emotionally manipulated, then there are tactics you should consider. Finding any of these familiar implies that you just may have a manipulator lurking around.

 

Do you have an emotional manipulator in your life?

 

Take a look at some of the different types of emotional manipulators and decide if you have one in your life or if you are one.

 

1. Unapologetic Tom

It doesn’t matter if they are the ones who were at wrong; they would ‘never’ apologise. The manipulator likes to play the victim and would, therefore, always make you feel guilty. As a result, you would end up apologising because Tom is always right.

 

2. Prove that you love me Jane

This is the part many dread to fall into but always do. When you’re asked to prove your love by doing things, you would rather not do, you’re being manipulated. In reality, they work on the ‘actions speak louder than words’ line. This, as a result, would make you give in to whatever it is they want you to do. Don’t fall for it. Jane’s got nothing on you.

 

3. Forgetful Funmi

You may not be forgetful, but a manipulator would make you question your sanity. They make you believe they never said or did what you thought they did. “You imagined it” is definitely something they would tell you. To beat them at their own game, you should record via video or text what they say. Then you can pull out the proof when they try to gaslight you.

 

 

4. Calm Chidi

When a manipulator wants to make you seem like you’re being overly dramatic even when they are wrong, they stay calm. In this situation, you tend to think you’re overreacting and give in to what they want, eventually.

 

5. Hush Hush Harry

The silent treatment is the weapon they yield when they try to manipulate you. They could stay offline or even out of sight for a long time just to get you to succumb. If this is a common act by your friend or partner, then you’re being manipulated.

 

 

More examples of emotional manipulators

• They turn your words against you.

You say, “It really bothers me you didn’t help me clean the house when you promised you would.”
They may say, “Well, I’ve been working all night and I’m under a lot of stress. Why don’t you think about me?”

 

• They make you feel guilty.

You say, “I’m going out.”
They say, “Sure you can go while I just stay home and clean up even if I’m tired. It’s fine.”

 

• They diminish your problems

You say, “My mom and I had a fight.”
They say, “Oh wow, you and your mom had a fight? That’s terrible, but you should be thankful because at least you have a mom. My mom is dead, and we used to fight more than you and yours when she was alive.”

 

 

Most manipulators thrive around those who are insecure and sensitive.

 

These are some people who fall easily to their ploys. If you have an emotional manipulator in your life, you should work on your confidence.

 

Also, approach them and tell them what it is they are guilty of because, in most cases, they aren’t even aware they are being manipulative. If this still doesn’t work, you can get a third party involved. In a worst-case scenario, just pack your bags and walk away.