If you know all the five love languages, then you know words of affirmation is one of them. For couples who have passed the honeymoon stage in their relationship, it can be quite easy to disregard this.
The relationship could become stagnant as you simply go through the motions. While the honeymoon phase is over, you take your partner for granted, and this can tell on the partnership. You soon neglect to do the needful and, for someone whose love language is words of affirmation, this can be a downer.
“Something sad, but too often true is how couples who have been together in long-term relationships tend to forget the importance of compliments,” says Tina Konkin, the founder of Relationship Lifeline. “They not only forget how it feels to receive a kind word; they also forget how it feels to give one. The ability to offer their spouse a healing salve in the form of a gentle, positive affirmation is the power we all possess,” she adds.
Truthfully, you don’t have to be this dramatic about it.
5 am – “Good morning, honey!”
5: 05 am – “I love you, honey!”
5: 09 am – “You know I love you, honey!”
5: 12 am – “Believe me, I really love you, honey!”
By simply putting in the effort, it would come naturally eventually. While this may not be your own love language, as long as you have identified it as your partner’s, you should speak their language. You could do this by praying together in the morning or at night, or both. In addition, you can achieve this by affirming for 5 minutes daily – that’s a good start.
Now, here are ways you can use words of affirmation.
How to express words of affirmation for a lasting relationship
1. Be reassuring
This is not necessarily a matter of insecurity from your partner. Your partner simply wants to feel reassured that you still love them. Sure you can buy all the gifts in the world, but it wouldn’t make much impact until that reassuring word is said. It can be a simple “I love you” daily. It’s not so hard if you really do love that person.
2. Brag about your partner
There are two ways to approach this. You can either do this in your partner’s presence or simply do it behind their back – the walls have ears. The best way to approach this is to do the latter; that has more impact. The realisation that you are bragging about him when he’s not around would make him feel more important in your life. This technique works, and you can try it out.
3. Throw compliments their way
There’s nothing more genuine than a compliment said randomly. This implies that you sincerely find something pleasurable about their new hair or outfit. However, you should not wait to be prompted to give compliments. Simply take the initiative just to get a spark up that person’s face. As long as your partner’s love language is words of affirmation, they would receive it wholeheartedly — and maybe even give you a winning smile and kiss.
4. Be thankful
It doesn’t matter if they haven’t saved the world with what they’ve done. Still, show that you appreciate the effort. Extend your gratitude for the little things even if it’s just a nice meal you received.
5. Be supportive
You may not be financially capable of giving your partner the world, but that doesn’t really matter as long as you’re always there. Encourage and support your partner through every journey and show that you’re paying attention to them. Certainly, even if your love language isn’t words of affirmation, you also would appreciate a little support every now and then.
15 phrases you can use for affirmation
- I love that [Insert Item Here] on you.
- I’m really proud of you.
- You’re my hero.
- My life is so much better with you in it.
- I don’t know how I got so lucky to have found you.
- I love how you show up for me when I really need you.
- I love the way you listen to me.
- Thank you for hearing and seeing me. It means a lot.
- You are amazing.
- You inspire me.
- I feel very lucky to have you in my life.
- I’m so proud of you.
- I love you.
- Thank you.
- I appreciate you.
One secret to how this can be more effective is when you say it when they least expect it. Also, try to be specific so they know you really mean it.
So, what’s it going to be? Try one or all of these with your partner right now!