If you are planning your marriage, have you considered that your parents may disagree with the partner you have chosen?

 

I do not know for a certainty about how things are done before the millennial, but most young people of this generation prefer making choices of life partners without interference from parents. Though parents have influential roles on marital life of their children but will you allow parents decide on your choice of spouse?

 

“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh”, (Gen 2: 24).

 

The truth is that your parents love you and will surely want the best for you. They, in their bid to profess this love, do so with their actions. They may raise hell (especially African mothers) stating how your choice of a life partner is unfit and unwise.

 

This may be as a result of them making certain mistakes which they wouldn’t want for their kids. Now how do one go about such situation and come out without being scarred?

 

Lets delve into some useful tips that could help budding couples navigate these stormy waters.

Never meet Force with force.

 

Try reassuring them. Let them know you love and acknowledge their support and zeal to make the right choice for you. Remember these folks are closer and hold dear to traditions and culture. So making a choice that does not conforms to what they are use to brings reactions.

Also read:
– How A Third Party Can Break Or Make Your Marriage
– Five Ways To Deal With Mother-In-Law Issues In Marriage
– You Need Good Communication To Save Your Marriage

Assure them of your Maturity.

Many times parents fail to see the mustache and beards grown over the years. They still see that little toddler with no right decision of his/her own. They make statements such as “No matter what, you’re still my kid” or “As long as I gave birth to you, you will do as I say. And that’s final.”

 

Such words fuel rebellion and the will to do the opposite. Calming down and having them see reason why you need to make such choice or make them see the good amidst the all the bad they are pointing out, might just change the wave’s direction.

Don’t keep your relationship a secret.

Make sure your relationships are never a secret. Keeping it a secret might just suggests you are ashamed and not certain of their approval. Gradually allowing them know your choice and stand before marriage could also help ease the pain when the decision is made.

Consider Counseling

An objective third party might just be your okada rider in the midst of this heavy traffic.

 

A pastor, Imam or a licensed marriage or family therapist entering the scene could help alleviate your parents’ fears that you’re marrying too quickly, marrying for the wrong reasons, marrying too young, or marrying the wrong person.

 

Despite these tips, your parents reactions towards your marriage can’t be guaranteed. Yet, they are sure steps to proceed with. Different stones for different birds as they say.

 

You can also make research. Ask for advice from more matured couples and seek the divination of whatever divinity you hold dear.

 

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