As parents or guardians, it can be very easy to let some words slip. This is probably because those same words were said to you while growing up. However, if you take time out to reflect on how those words made you feel, you’d realise someone went wrong somewhere. Words, when wrongly uttered, have the power to negatively impact you.

 

They could scar you in the long run. Either way, be thankful for the person you’ve become in spite of the careless words you grew accustomed to. Children are very susceptible to reading meanings from words you said unintentionally. Therefore, as adults, we have to be careful of the kind of words we let slip, especially to our kids.

 

It’s true that we are the forerunners of discipline when it comes to children, but we should be careful to think before we speak. Was that a little bit harsh? Well, some kids hear certain words in para-languages that make them seem harsher than intended. So while you’re mindful of your words, be mindful of your tone and manner of speech as well.

 

Find out below the words you should never say to your kids to when they try to slip.

 

Never say these words to your kids

 

“You’re just like your mother/father.”

This is one mistake many adults make, especially after a separation or divorce. When they utter such words, the child gets the vibe that you don’t like that trait in their parent. Therefore, such a statement makes them feel like you don’t like them. They could end up withdrawing from you in an attempt to not offend you.

 

“That’s not how to do it; let me show you.”

Learning is a process for children, and you shouldn’t take that from them. When you try to ‘help’ them, you’re actually doing the opposite because they would rely more on you and less on themselves.

 

“What’s wrong with you?”

When you say this in a state of anger, it can leave a long-lasting mark. That child would keep wondering if there’s something indeed wrong with him. This can chip off his self esteem for a long time and even after he grows into an adult. On the contrary, when said compassionately it’s fine.

 

“You’ll never be any different.”

When it comes to improving or anything else related and you say ‘never’, it has a negative outcome. Children could think themselves hopeless when you utter negative statements like “can’t” and “never”.

 

 

“Can’t you be more like…?”

This is a form of comparison, and a child would get the message that he isn’t good enough. You should hold back when you feel the urge to rage at your child by making this statement. They would wonder what’s so good about the other person that makes you like them more. However, this is often not the case.

 

“You’re being too sensitive.”

Most parents who say this are just being unloving and unattuned. You’re meant to have your child’s back and understand even the unvoiced emotions. Don’t call out your child as being too sensitive.

 

“Leave me alone!”

This could throw them off and make them isolate themselves. Children seek comfort and companionship and can call you at odd hours to play with them. Telling them to leave you alone beats the whole essence of building a good relationship. They might upset you, but don’t tell them to leave you.

 

“I do everything for you!”

Making them feel like a burden is not a good approach. Not all children learn at the same pace, and if yours is slow you should encourage them instead of yelling at them. They sought your help, and if it’s something you believe they can do alone, observe them as they try.

 

“B is fine, but A is better.”

Rather than call them out on where they can do ‘better’, praise them for their successes. Don’t make them feel like what they did isn’t good enough. Praising them will encourage them to try harder and do better.

 

“You’re fat.”

First, what kind of parent does this? Even if your child is 10 times bigger than usual, you should encourage them to start a healthy lifestyle. Avoid calling out your child on his physical appearance as that child would always think they are a mistake or flawed.

 

“I’m so fat; I’m going on a diet.”

Children look up to you, and the way you carry yourself can rub off on them. Therefore, try as much as possible to make it be a positive way.

 

“Stop crying right now.”

Children are sensitive and free to express their emotions. You shouldn’t stop them from freely expressing themselves. The result could be they hold back all that emotion and vent through anger. Even worse, they could end up depressed or bitter in life.

 

“I’m disappointed in you.”

Others may say this carelessly, but don’t be like them. You are the rock of that child, the one they always come back to when in need of comfort and motivation. Don’t be the one who says ‘you’re a disappointment’, ever. If you have, then now is the time to stop.

 

“You live under my roof, you follow the rules.”

Check the calendar because chances are that your child would be out of that house as soon as they can. When you utter these words, it can make the child feel unwanted. Then they countdown to the time they are old enough to be independent and away from you. This is not so good when trying to establish a good parent-child relationship long term.

 

Therefore, try not to throw caution to the wind because they would remember the little things.