Intimacy usually denotes mutual vulnerability, openness and sharing. It is often present in close, loving relationships such as marriages and friendships. Intimacy can be vital to maintaining a healthy social life, however, some people are afraid of it.

The term is also sometimes used to refer to s*xual interactions, but intimacy does not have to be s*xual. There are different types of intimacy:

• Experiential intimacy is when people bond during leisure activities. People may “sync up” their actions in teamwork or find themselves acting in unison.
• Emotional intimacy is when people feel safe sharing their feelings with each other, even uncomfortable ones.
• Intellectual intimacy is when people feel comfortable sharing ideas and opinions, even when they disagree.
• S*xual intimacy is when people engage in sensual or s*xual activities. When people use the word “intimacy,” they are often referring to this type.

If you avoid intimacy, you may find yourself isolated or in constant conflict with others. You might be in denial, but here are some surefire signs to know if you are afraid of intimacy.

Signs of Fear of Intimacy

1. You do not express your needs

If you are afraid of intimacy, you find it difficult to open up about your needs. You don’t talk about your issues, and you try to fix everything yourself. You feel like your problems are nobody’s business, and you don’t speak out when you don’t like something.

2. You are avoidant

You run away from feelings and uncomfortable situations. Anything that involves you being vulnerable to someone else is off-limits. If you feel someone getting too close to you, you immediately pull away and shut them out of your life.

3. You go for unavailable people

You are attracted to what you can’t have because at the core of it, you don’t want the commitment. Sometimes, you even sabotage relationships that could actually work because you are used to the feeling of longing. That way, you feel safe having an excuse.

4. You get in and out of relationships

You never let anyone get in too deep and, when you notice them getting there, you look for an excuse to run out of the relationship. Also, you use needless drama and coldness to distract yourself and others from your intimacy issues.

5. You are a perfectionist

You constantly deride yourself and nitpick everything about you and other people because your perception of what love is supposed to be like is warped. To you, people have to be a certain way to be deserving of love.

If you show one or more of these signs, you have intimacy issues. You need to seek some help from a professional or be introspective enough to search within yourself for the root of your fear of intimacy.

Be sure to share this with whomever you think might need it. If you have any questions or contributions, comment below.

For more on health and relationships, stay on Plat4om.