To date an introvert, you first have to understand that they aren’t so complicated. They are just like you, but it is only that they think differently. If you’re a fellow introvert, then this can either be easier or harder for you. First, congratulations because you picked up the courage to actually ask her out. Of course, guys can be introverts too, but let’s pretend this is a “boy asks a girl out” kind of situation.
An introvert is more comfortable in their own space and with their own thoughts. They also process every thought before they say it out. We also often consider introverts as very intuitive. How then do you successfully date someone who would rather be under their blanket with a book and a warm cup of coffee?
To complicate this more, they probably wouldn’t invite you under the blanket because it’s ‘their time’ to be alone. Now, that’s not so complicated, right? Introverts are loyal and communicative. Just cross the bridge of the first date, and your potential bae would talk all day.
(Myth 1: Introverts don’t talk.)
(Myth 2: Introverts are shy.)
Now, just in case you are in a relationship with an introverted person, here’s how you can go on a date without it being the worst time ever.
Six tips on how to date an introvert
1. Avoid small talk
Introverts like to talk about interesting topics that make them use their brains or issues they are passionate about. Now, this is not a shade on extroverts. Introverts would rather talk about something they know than random topics of conversation. The worst mistake you can make is to say something cliche like, “Have you eaten?” Rather than that, ask about why missing out on meals can be very detrimental to one’s health. Like we said, it is not so complicated. Simply put in the effort to get them to actually talk, and not just chant a “Yes or No”.
2. Read the body language
Sometimes, introverts seem angry even if all they’re doing is thinking. Or, they may be angry but you may think they are thinking. When you study their body language, you can tell that a raised brow might mean they are thinking, and a crossed arm might mean they are upset. You simply have to pay attention to understanding the cues they give.
3. Choose a quiet location
Rather than drag them on to a noisy room where they are conscious of even the hairs in your nose, take them to a quiet location. Sure, an introvert can be in a noisy and crowded room, but they won’t have their attention on you. To get an introvert to notice just you, pick a perfectly quiet location. For instance, asking them out to a park, a bookshop, a quiet restaurant, or a private beach is a good start.
4. Connect with your brain
If an introvert finally gives dating you a try, you might end up seeming uninteresting if all you talk about is work, animals or global warming. If those things don’t relate or interest you, it would be hard for them to feel connected to you. So, to make them feel closer to you, draw them into your inner world by talking about yourself (not egoistically) and things you feel strongly about.
5. Don’t give too much compliments
Everyone loves compliments. But where introverts are concerned, too much becomes suspicious. They become more conscious, especially when they don’t identify with that compliment. A better approach is to give insightful and concrete compliments. For instance, if you compliment their appearance, they may feel like they rarely look that good. However, if you compliment their taste in music or in fashion, then they can identify with that better.
6. Be patient
Not all introverts need to be treated this way. Honestly, dating is a ball game of its own making. But with an introvert and anyone you’re dating, remember to be patient. Get to know them and what makes them tick.